Friday, 3 December 2010

Why hello there..

So many days have passed since my last post... whether anyone cares i do not know!

Well.. here we are coming to the end of another year. I adore this time of year. Halloween, Christmas, coal fires burning.. the nights drawing in. I love the darkness, outside darkness anyhows.. inside not so much.
Daylight.. i could take it or leave it... :P

And well, i'm coming to the end of this year still in a much better place than i was last year. On December 12th i will have eaten properly for a whole year. Seems like such a simple thing but this will be the first year since i was 15.. (I'm now a fair bit older!!)Fingers crossed i can make it 9 more days!!

Snow has fallen so deep on my little country town, that i am now doing a little bit of hibernating so i may do abit more blooging than usually over the next few days.

I do hope my 9 glorious followers are well and wonderful.

Love to you all

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

One day i'll fly away...

.... leave all this to yesterday....
Everyone they just take and take until you're just the shell of the person you once were. You look in the mirror and you don't see you... you see them.

I so easy, easy to hate.. but you're so fucking easy, easy to break...

I'm letting her back in.

She keeps me safe.
I am so up and down.

I do things i know i shouldn't.

And there's a part of me thats screaming inside.. screaming for me to stop. That i'm just hurting myself and other people.
I'm letting men treat me like shit.. Daddy issues... pffft. That ain't even the half of it.
I don't know who i am. I don't even know if there's a me anymore.. or whether i'm just a product of the people around me.
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'till I'm sane
You lock the door and throw away the key
There's someone in my head, but it's not me.

I was drunk.. sleeping with a boy i shouldn't... i could have lost you and i'm sorry i wasn't there. I should have been. On the end of the phone. Telling you i'll love you forever. Telling you, if only i could, i'd take away all your pain...

I love you so much...

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

The End of an Era...

Today... May 26th 2010.. i had my last counselling session...

It is a very bittersweet day. I have grown so close to Sue, my couseller and i will miss her and talking to her so, so much.

And yet.. i am so excited for the way my life is going and the places it is heading! I have come out of my counselling every week looking at the world and me in a completly different light and way. A better way. I am happy, stronger.. and the fact that my sessions have come to an end is proof that its not just me who thinks this.

I feel so alive.

The world is my oyster...